Do you know what I did today?
I sat around feeling sorry for myself. I sat around doing pointless things while rewatching Gilmore Girls all day long. I saturated myself with silly things until I felt so bored and so lonely I didn't know what to do with myself.
I made an effort to do something, got a little dressed up and bought flowers and dinner at Trader Joe's. Came home, cooked, watched more Gilmore girls, continued to feel sorry for myself until it hit me. What am I doing?
I read something that really encouraged me in this blog of mine. I read about someone my age building a business doing something similar to this and it encouraged me a lot. I don't know what God is doing with this blog, what He's doing with my life, but Lydia you got to trust Him!
"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion--to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor...And you will be called priests of the Lord, you will be named ministers of our God" (Is. 61:1-3 & 6).
Sometimes I'm gonna have bad days, and that's super okay. But I don't really have anything to be upset about today. Today's mood was just a reflection on my lack of trusting God. Like a line from one of my recent songs, "I have to choose to trust moment by moment and not just in one rush." For the past 10 days thus far I've heard God softly but clearly reminding me to TRUST Him. And here I am on day 11 forgetting to trust Him! I have to keep choosing, I have to keep choosing.
God, thank You for blatant, tangible reminders this evening that You are doing something in my life, You are leading me somewhere...thank You for making it easier to say "I trust You." I don't deserve it.
"I trust You, God. I trust You."