Day 35: Counting on God
2 Timothy 2:22-3:17
It's amazing me today that I used to live my life not reading the Bible every day. Because how I need it every day! Every single day thus far when I've come to the Word I am in a position of doubt, fear, insecurity, etc and I need to hear the truth. How did I live my life before?
I find it frustrating now how quickly I wake up believing the lies and fear instead of what I've been intentionally feeding myself everyday in the Word.
I hate that I don't have a direction in my life right now. Let me rephrase that, I hate that I don't have a direction toward a safe what-do-you-want-to-be-when-you-grow-up career. It's really frustrating and I feel like a failure.
But today again I am reminded that the only thing that matters is pursuing God.
I see people in the Bible seek after things I also wish I had: security, success, identity. But they don't look to God for those things and everything falls apart.
I'd rather my life look the way it does now: basically a big question mark, than for me to pursue something besides God.
I'm counting on Him alone and even though right now it doesn't feel great, I think that's probably the best place I can be.
That's kinda what happens when doors keep closing, you aren't left with much to cling to. I will continue to cling to God and I know He'll never let go of me.
"When I said, 'My foot is slipping,' Your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought me joy" (Ps. 94:18-19).