Day 39: An Opened Door
"Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name. For the Lord is good and His love endures forever, His faithfulness continues through all generations."
Perhaps you may have been thinking all this time that I write out the passages sometimes to assist you, the reader. Well, yes, a little bit. Mostly though I do so for myself.
I always experience God's Word differently when I write it out myself, rather than just reading it. I can tend to skim when I read, but when I write it out myself I am engaging with each word individually and it sinks in to a different level. Of course, on this blog I am typing it out, when it's better for me to hand write it, but it is also helpful to type it out.
Today I want to write out this Psalm over and over again. I could too, it's very short.
Worship the Lord with gladness
Know that the Lord is God
It is He who made us
we are His
we are His people
the sheep of His pasture
the Lord is good
Today I am especially grateful to God. He answered my prayers so quickly!
God gave me a peace to stop trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up and to just go out and get a job somewhere, anywhere! It was a huge weight off my shoulders. I just want to get busy and work hard.
I feel like my path lately has been foggy and confusing. I chose to get a teaching credential because I didn't want to be doing nothing even though I already dreaded the idea of teaching academics. And withdrawing from that program was a hard decision for me because I had to again face the fact that I had no back up plan.
But God did.
As soon as I felt God had released me from the teaching credential program and the idea that I need to figure out a "career" I got to work again on my resume and decided to just go get a job.
Yesterday I began my search, applying to little businesses around my house. I hardly had time to begin to feel disheartened (though I did begin to feel disheartened by around 3pm) when I suddenly found myself employed.
I walked into the cute little family-run diner-style restaurant 1 mile from my house...
"I would like to apply for a job"
"We have no application, just need your resume"
"Okay, here you go"
"Are you okay working in a hectic environment?"
"I think so!"
"How often do you want to work?"
"Full time, any time or day of the week except for Sunday."
"Excellent, how soon can you start?"
"Tomorrow" I laughed
"How about Monday?"
I'm so blown away.
In all my doubts and insecurities during this foggy weird path I've been on since graduation it feels like such a meant-to-be God thing that I literally spent maybe 3 hours searching for a job and I found one.
And sure, I may still have a lot of doubts. I know to a lot of people it won't make sense that I chose being a hostess over becoming a teacher. I know I won't make a lot of money. And I don't know if I'll be able to explain away those doubts right now, maybe I won't ever be able to. All I know is that I've been praying night and day, praying for God to lead me and for about a year now I've been watching Him close doors. But yesterday I watched Him swing open a door for me and I will walk through on Monday and I'm so grateful to see that He is leading me, wherever this is.
It's funny how when things like this happen I always wish I could go back in time, perhaps I could go back a mere 10 days ago to see the Lydia of October 18. I would tell myself that God's going to follow through. He really really is.
And I don't think I doubted that...but I know I doubted myself.
God is so here, He is so up to something, and everything is going to be okay.