Wrestling with God
God chooses unexpected people. He chose John the Baptist to prepare the way for Jesus, the son of a very old barren woman. He chose Jacob to be the father of His people, a sinful, fearful, and deceitful man. And He chose the little children to reveal the hidden things to. "You have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this is what You were pleased to do." Matthew 11:25-26
The image of Jacob wrestling God excites me. It sounds weird, to wrestle with God, but in our heart don't we know that's what we do? We have questions and frustrations; we have wills and control issues; we have desires and instincts. We are both swallowed up in distorted sinful thinking and desperate to know who we really were actually created to be. We are both infatuated with ourselves and yearning to know God alone.
We wrestle...it's just who we are really. We wrestle with ourselves, are we ever at rest? We wrestle with others, are we ever at rest? We wrestle with big scary life concepts, life, death, choices, pain, are we ever at rest? We wrestle with God Himself, are we ever at rest?
I don't know if I'll ever know the specifics of what "Jacob wrestling with God" was all about. Maybe it was actually Jesus incarnate...maybe it was some other concept we won't be able to wrap our heads around. But the image of Jacob wrestling with God speaks to me now...as I wrestle through the questions that today's reading brought alone...as I wrestle with the "burden" reading the Bible every day is....as I wrestle with all the things I read....as I wrestle with all the stuff God might bring up in my own heart as I read the truth of God's Word...I am wrestling. Even when this project is over and I've hit Day 365...yay I've read the whole Bible now and I've read the Bible every day for a year!...it will not be over....I will not be at rest. For God's plan for me will not be through, I will still be human, still curious, still broken, still searching, still wrestling.
Wrestling is not a bad thing though when it is God we wrestle with.
It sounds exhausting...to always be wrestling...but we're going to do that anyway. But when we wrestle with God, we can rest in the knowledge that as we wrestle we are wrestling with the One with the answers. We will find rest. We will find rest.
God chooses unexpected people. He lets us wrestle with Him. He hears His disciple Thomas's doubts and let's Thomas explore and find answers. He wrestles with Jacob all night long. He gives us His Word so we can seek Him and He gives us His Spirit so we can know Him and He gives us Jesus so we can be with Him.
He chooses people who are already wrestling and gives them rest.
"Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28