It was my plan today to blog first thing in the morning. I notice that during the week when I blog right before bed I lack the energy to reflect and write something thoughtful. When I am able to read, reflect, and blog earlier in the day when I have a day off, though, I have more to say.
This morning I didn't exactly blog first thing in the morning...first I scrolled through my phone a long time, I texted people, I made breakfast, I talked with my mom, I got a little overwhelmed with all the things I want to do today. I sometimes get overwhelmed when I have a day off because all week long I've been thinking of things I would do when I have a day off and then when it comes I have too many ideas and I can't choose.
Anyway, I sat down to read at 10:30am and still I am distracted. I was looking forward to having another Highlights-page-worthy post and I just don't know if that's what's going to come to me.
So Jesus, I'm gonna pause for a second from my rambling.
I've read Your Word this morning.
I've read about how the Israelites were to confess their sins and seek atonement for their sin in animal sacrifices.
I've read confusing things about fasting and wineskins.
I've read a Psalm and some Proverbs.
I've read about how You are a doctor for the sick, a Savior for sinners, You came to seek the needy, hurting, and broken people.
"It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."
What would You have me say about that?
I think a lot of times I used to read what You said in Mark 2:17 as though You were saying to the Pharisees, "I didn't come for you, I came for these people: the tax collectors, the prostitutes, the outright sinners."
But weren't the Pharisees sinners?
Of course, like all mankind, they were sinners.
Jesus, You came for all.
You came for the parts of every single one of us that are twisted and broken. Maybe we have good and pretty things in our hearts, maybe we are not "all bad" (though I think without You we are) but every one of us have ugly and harmful things in our hearts...You came for those things.
You came because of the bruises, because of the evil, because of the anger and disobedience.
You came because we are terrible.
You came because we are sick.
When You said to the Pharisees, "I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners," You weren't putting them at an arms length, You weren't trying to exclude them, You were inviting them. Because if they would open their hearts, open their minds, open their eyes, wouldn't they see that they are sick too? Wouldn't they see they need a doctor? Wouldn't they remember that even though they try, even though they strive, even though they pretend, they can't seem to feel peace, they can't seem to feel love, they can't seem to feel whole? Wouldn't they remember that they are broken too?
It takes humility to follow Jesus. To have that awareness that, yes, I am broken, yes, I need help, yes, I need Jesus...it takes vulnerability. And it's sad when I see the church become a place where everyone pretends they aren't broken...that's the dumbest thing ever. Because how can we expect people who don't believe in Jesus to ever have the courageous humility it takes to admit they are needy when we can't do it ourselves?
Jesus, may I become more and more obviously needy for You. May I shrink so whoever it is around me that needs to see can see that You are big and good and You are for us. You are what we all need.
When I read "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners" may I know over and over again that You. are. talking. to. me.