I know, I know! Another little gap in blogging (and reading) but it was all for good reason: my best friends got married yesterday!!
(photo cred @ofloveandmagic)
It was a lot of driving, a lot of waiting for delayed flights, a lot of working and planning and beautifying but my family and I ended up in Sonoma County to celebrate my WONDERFUL friends at their DREAM brunch wedding.
The bride's brother and I stood on her side during the ceremony, I was the maid of honor.
They were married by a pastor who compared the vow of loyalty they made to each other to the eternal and flawless loyalty God offers us all.
The wedding went by so fast and before I knew it we were on another short road trip to a little rental house along the Mendocino area coast.
And now here we are, me with my messy unwashed bridesmaid curls... resting, vacationing, me catching up on blogging, and catching our breaths from the stunning wedding that took our breath away (cheesy, but true).
Our vacation has just begun and we are just starting to settle in, I feel like my heart and body has been moving 100 miles a minute since I flew up here. Reading the Bible and letting God speak is just the thing I need.
I was struck with several things today, three verses if I have to narrow it down:
(A) Acts 5:41
"the apostles left the Sanhedrin (after being flogged) rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name."
(B) Psalm 125:1
"those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever."
(C) Acts 7:35
"this was the same Moses they had rejected with the words, 'who made you ruler and judge?' He was sent to be their ruler and deliverer by God himself, through the angel who appeared to him in the bush."
(A) This has got to be the attitude of only those who are indeed worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name of Jesus. Lord, may I love You and serve You with equal fervor...make my heart the kind.
(B) Just a good verse.
(C) In my life I have wanted to be many things. I have played many roles in my childhood fantasies...wife, mother, singer, artist, writer, teacher, and preacher. And I don't know if anyone has ever told me I can't be any of these. But maybe I've said it to myself.
Moses could have wanted to be many things too, but there was something embedded in him...he was the protector, defender, ruler and judge of Israel.
He did not claim this title, he would not have called himself that, but in his own flawed human way he acted in what something in him knew he would one day be.
He killed the Egyptian because he was protecting an Israelite. He tried to settle an argument between two Israelites.
It was imperfect, but it was what he was made to be. And he had to flee...he had to turn away from what made his heart beat...until (no big deal) God's voice spoke to him through a miraculously not-burning burning bush.
"Moses, do the thing you've always wanted. Be the thing you've always wanted but couldn't name. Do it. Go free my people, go lead my people."
"No, God, it's not me. Remember? I screwed that up! Remember? I am a mess!"
"Moses, it is you. Because it is Me."
They said, "who made you judge and ruler over Israel?"
And Moses said, "God Himself."
I don't know where that leaves me, I don't know if its for me at all. I'm not Moses, obviously. Moses is the only Moses. But I can be just as fearful and insecure as Moses and I can be just as discouraged as him as well. But may I never shy away from who it is God calls me to be.
God has a bigger plan for me than I have for myself.
And that...is breathtaking.